


to bring you closer to me

by IWillNotBeSilenced



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: It's their first time!, Light Smut, M/M, it's sweet and soft and playful and sexy, pynch - Freeform, vers pynch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 18:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWillNotBeSilenced/pseuds/IWillNotBeSilenced
Summary: Ronan is at war with himself; here in front of him is the thing he has wanted, has dreamed about, has hated and denied himself and accepted and he is terrified.Adam presses his lips against Ronan’s, meaning /I’m here/ and /this is okay/ and /I love you/.Adam and Ronan sleep together for the first time and it's everything all at once.





	to bring you closer to me

**Author's Note:**

> I really really enjoyed writing this one and really hope you guys like it! As an ace person I generally avoid writing smut, but this felt v special. Hopefully I got it right!

They sit opposite each other, legs folded, on the bed in Ronan’s childhood room. Adam’s hands are splayed on Ronan’s thighs, Ronan’s rest against Adam’s chest.

‘Are you nervous?’ Adam whispers, his voice full of trembling anticipation.

Ronan looks down and away from him, eyelashes brushing cheeks. Adam ducks his head to look up at Ronan and smiles at him, so soft, so hopeful. ‘Ronan?’ He whispers.

Ronan flicks his eyes up to Adam’s. The intensity of his stare could be mistaken for antagonism, but Adam sees it for what it is. Ronan is at war with himself; here in front of him is the thing he has wanted, has dreamed about, has hated and denied himself and accepted and he is terrified. 

Adam presses his lips against Ronan’s, silent encouragement, meaning /I’m here/ and /this is okay/ and /I love you/. 

Ronan looks away again, eyes closed, but brings a hand to Adam’s face. He takes a deep, trembling breath. In through the nose, slowly out through the mouth. Adam closes his own eyes and lets himself feel Ronan breathing. His pulse is steady, leaves unfurling inside him. He waits.

Ronan reaches a decision within himself. He looks up at Adam, scoots forwards on the sheets. Brings his hand to the back of Adam’s neck. Hesitates, reaches for Adam’s hip with the other. Adam can feel Ronan’s pulse hammering where his wrist meets Adam’s thigh. He breathes; in, out. He leans into Adam’s space and presses their lips together. 

Adam responds instantly, bringing his hands up between them and cupping Ronan’s face. Ronan leans into the touch, groaning as he feels Adam’s thumbs on his cheekbones, fingers brushing into his hair. God, he loves Adam’s hands. Adam rolls up onto his knees, pushing Ronan backwards. Ronan holds Adam’s shoulders and Adam’s hands cradle Ronan’s back as he lowers himself down over him. Adam positions himself between Ronan’s thighs, which come up on either side of his body.   
They break apart and look at each other like they’re seeing each other for the first time.

Adam has one arm braced above Ronan’s head. Ronan brushes his knuckles against Adam’s face, the other boy’s eyes fluttering closed and lips parting slightly. Ronan doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to this. He could look at Adam Parrish forever. He grins. ‘Hi, Parrish.’ 

Adam looks down at him, face unreadable. He shifts against Ronan, almost imperceptibly. But Ronan can feel every nerve ending in his body right now, and he feels Adam’s hips roll into his, gently, like a question. Ronan’s cheeks flare, his breath catching. Adam grins widely and says, ‘Hi, Lynch.’

Ronan rolls, flipping Adam over onto his back, and rests his hands at the hem of Adam’s shirt. ‘Changed your tune.’ Adam quips, but he’s breathless as he sits up and allows Ronan to lift his shirt over his head. Ronan’s fingers brush Adam’s sides, making him shiver. Ronan goes to take off his own tank and Adam closes his hands over Ronan’s fingers. ‘Can I?’ He asks, so polite, Adam Parrish as ever.

Ronan kisses him and obligingly raises his arms. Adam thinks there’s something almost unbearable about Ronan, shirtless and wearing jeans slung low on his hips.   
He feels heat bloom in his stomach as Ronan leans over him again. It’s hungry, but the care behind their touches is palpable. 

Ronan kisses down Adam’s neck, kissing, licking, nipping gently at the skin. Adam’s breath is heavy and as Ronan sucks at his collarbone, he reaches to tilt Ronan’s chin towards him.

‘What?’ Ronan asks.

‘Nothin’. Just wanted to look at you.’

Ronan’s face lights up. He surges up to kiss Adam and then pulling apart, flicks his eyes down Adam’s body. 

‘Do you want…’

‘Yes.’

Ronan reaches for Adam’s belt and Adam raises his hips so Ronan can wriggle his jeans down before reaching for his own. 

Adam has seen Ronan in many an undone state. But usually, the overriding emotion is anger, fear or confusion when it comes to Ronan’s taciturn moods and impulsiveness. Seeing his pale skin flushed, hands shaking, jeans around his knees, leaning over Adam’s undressed body with kiss-swollen lips is, undoubtedly, his favourite. 

Ronan presses his hands against Adam’s ribs. He does his smoker’s breath. Looks at Adam and smiles. It glitters. 

Ronan leans down and kisses Adam full on the mouth and lowers his hips.

Adam gasps as he feels Ronan push into him. Ronan goes slowly, but Adam presses a hand at the base of Ronan’s spine, his skin warm and damp, taking Ronan into him again and again. It hurts, god it does, but Adam knows pain and this is different. Ronan is so worshipful, so deferential in his touch and exploration of Adam’s body that it goes past giving the power to Adam and instead comes full circle again to make Ronan the powerful one once more, even with his hands shaking. He’s on fire, an inferno that intensifies everywhere Ronan touches him, inside and out. 

‘God, Adam.’ 

Adam doesn’t know if Ronan is simply feeling a lot right now or whether he is equating these two forces in his life. It sounds like a prayer.

There is only this: the moment before he knew what it was like to have Ronan inside him and every moment that comes after. In minutes or days or years Ronan is falling into the crook of Adam’s neck, shaking and silent. Adam thinks he could do this again and again and again as he holds Ronan against him, exchanging shuddering breaths and short, disbelieving laughs. 

Ronan turns his head to look up at Adam, his eyes unguarded. 

‘Was it good?’ 

Adam wants to laugh. Ronan’s insecurity is disarmingly endearing, but he knows better than to poke fun at his sincerity. He also can’t believe he’s asking. 

Adam presses his mouth against Ronan’s temple and curls into him.

‘Yeah, Ro. It was so good.’

Ronan grins at him, suddenly playful again. 

‘Go again?’

‘Jesus Ronan, give me a sec.’ He goes to push Ronan’s laughing face away and then thinks better of it. Instead he braces himself against Ronan’s shoulders and climbs on top of him, Ronan’s hands on Adam’s waist, letting him get his balance. Adam’s still-shaking legs protest, but he looks down at Ronan and can’t keep the smile from his face as he takes in Ronan’s muscular frame sprawled beneath him, just for Adam. 

‘On second thoughts, maybe…’

‘Less talk, Parrish.’


End file.
